I just had a nightmare.. I took my notebook I call it “Not another wasted notebook” and I took a pillow and went to the roof, it was raining, I noticed because of the water that covers up the streets, there’s nothing but the good darkness surrounding me. The moon is shining brightly over the tree tops and it’s reflection on the water is such a beautiful sight. This is a perfect place for two people who are in love..
As I sit here thinking about all the time I have wasted, just sorting out my life -- I never really realized what loneliness was until I lost hope. Yes, I lost hope.. It seemed as thought things were going so good until one day I decide to let the fade decide my destiny. All of my plans for future were shattered. Hope was gone, and maybe forever.. I still remember the times I thought I would stand up and keep trying, but not pushing myself, those thoughts became memories, and those memories are going to fade away.. slowly. They’ll be gone, soon enough.
There’s no use in pretending, because deep down in my heart, I know I can change, and I can start a new life.. but I think life is an accumulation of joys and pains, the one making us richer, the other sometimes becoming obstacles too high to climb, and wanting to give up.. We all suffer our share of pain. Some, though, don’t know how to rid themselves of the pain. And some just need help, maybe I need help, but I don’t want anybody to help me.
My life seems so meaningless now. I think I’m useless - why was I ever placed on this earth? What purpose do I serve? None, none whatsoever. People keep telling me that I’ll change, but I need time, but for how long?
I have to admit that I have been thinking in giving up on life, on love, on everything, but I can’t. I must go on -- being this or being that. The things and people that really meant anything to me are gone - vanished - never to come back to me again. Maybe someday .. I’ll change for good, I’ll be better, but I’m wondering, will people still love me?!
I have to get a grip on myself -- I can’t let this get me down. Life must go on. Maybe it’s good that the memories are going, maybe then I can go on with my life as meaningless as it seems now. I think that the only way to having true love, is to realize that someday it may be lost. Believe me, I realized that a long time ago..
As I sit here thinking about all the time I have wasted, just sorting out my life -- I never really realized what loneliness was until I lost hope. Yes, I lost hope.. It seemed as thought things were going so good until one day I decide to let the fade decide my destiny. All of my plans for future were shattered. Hope was gone, and maybe forever.. I still remember the times I thought I would stand up and keep trying, but not pushing myself, those thoughts became memories, and those memories are going to fade away.. slowly. They’ll be gone, soon enough.
There’s no use in pretending, because deep down in my heart, I know I can change, and I can start a new life.. but I think life is an accumulation of joys and pains, the one making us richer, the other sometimes becoming obstacles too high to climb, and wanting to give up.. We all suffer our share of pain. Some, though, don’t know how to rid themselves of the pain. And some just need help, maybe I need help, but I don’t want anybody to help me.
My life seems so meaningless now. I think I’m useless - why was I ever placed on this earth? What purpose do I serve? None, none whatsoever. People keep telling me that I’ll change, but I need time, but for how long?
I have to admit that I have been thinking in giving up on life, on love, on everything, but I can’t. I must go on -- being this or being that. The things and people that really meant anything to me are gone - vanished - never to come back to me again. Maybe someday .. I’ll change for good, I’ll be better, but I’m wondering, will people still love me?!
I have to get a grip on myself -- I can’t let this get me down. Life must go on. Maybe it’s good that the memories are going, maybe then I can go on with my life as meaningless as it seems now. I think that the only way to having true love, is to realize that someday it may be lost. Believe me, I realized that a long time ago..
But you know?..
And I'll be okay..!
/\BrokenSmile/\
P.S: The picture is NOT mine..
1 comentario:
Shei, me dejaste con la boca abierta! It's just that everything you wrote fits on me, on what i'm passing by in this moment.
"I still remember the times I thought I would stand up and keep trying, but not pushing myself, those thoughts became memories, and those memories are going to fade away.. slowly. They’ll be gone, soon enough."
I had that kind of feelings yesterday, I was truly sad, but now I was thinking and I guess maybe I can stand up this time, I can say I can and meant it.
Solo espero que sepas que si en realidad necesitas una mano, debes pedirla. Si uno pierde la esperanza en el momento menos indicado, las cosas no irán como uno desee, sino como está destinado a ser. No se si lograste entender esa parte pero puedes contar con que el día en que me necesites, el día que pidas ayuda, estaré ahi.
Te quiero :)
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