Different Feeling

The phone is making a different sound, its hard for me to talk so early in the morning but, I stare at the clock and I notice that its 10:45 AM So I guess is not that early. I gotta talk slowly because I can’t be to loud. Nobody talks. I close my eyes and thinking of my past, I hear your voice. I think that after a long trip with scars and heart breakers is nice to hear you saying my name. When I first meet you, I thought of running as far as I can because I was scared of falling in love. But you told me to trust you.. And not to run from you, “TRUST” you said. I don’t understand why should I be afraid of the prettiest thing in the world.. Love. Maybe I’m afraid to let you in, because I may like you, I’m afraid to like you, because I may fall in love, I’m afraid to fall in love, because I may get hurt, I’m afraid to get hurt, because of the pain, I’m afraid of the pain, because of the scars, I’m afraid of the scars, because they may bleed, I’m afraid of the blood, because I may die, I’m afraid to die, because I may survive, I’m afraid to survive because I may let you in, and the cycle starts all over again. But maybe if I let you in.. I won’t be that scared, I’ll laugh, I’ll cry.. But that’s all, isn’t? You told me that love happens when you most unexpected and that everyone finds their true love, even thought it takes some time.

¦ Copyright ©¦ BrokenSmile

Mundo de locos

Siento dentro de mi ser un ritmo monótono y constante que asemeja a su vez una dulce melodía triste y meláncolica, interrumpida muy de vez en cuando por golpes secos y repetitivos que creo identificar con un tambor... y no son más que latidos venidos a más en un acto de darse a conocer cuando siento no tener ya vida.

Siento que mi camino se ha ido desdibujando durante estos años y que por mucho que me empeño en seguir corriendo tras unas metas del todo insignificantes para mi, no logro hallar consuelo alguno a este pozo de oscuras esperanzas que apenas se atreven a asomar a la superficie.

Siento un gran elenco de emociones contradictorias hacia circunstancias buscadas sin deseo, deseadas sin atreverme a hacerlas realidad, realizadas sin sentir nada al hacerlo. Todo se mueve sin sentido, todo cambia, todo continua demasiado igual.

Siento no pertenecer a ningún lado, añoro el tener un lugar único para mi en el que refugiar mi fatigada búsqueda, me entristece no sentirme cerca de nadie de mi alrededor, no tener nada que ver con los demás, y cada vez más, me entristece no querer siquiera, intentarlo. No sé qué debo hacer, no sé qué no debo hacer.

Siento que me estoy conformando, que sigo caminando sin sentir mis pasos, y lo que más siento es no tener la valentía para poder sentir "eso" que me ayude a luchar por lo que quiero.

En este mundo de locos, siento que mi cordura no es más que una vana imitación de lo que un día llegó a ser... y que poco a poco, se ha ido intoxicando con la jodida realidad.

¦ Copyright ©¦ BrokenSmile

-Living with a shadow over head-

1 Heartbreak.
2 eyes crying.
3 words never said again.
4 hands that won't be held.
5 mornings i'll pass him in the halls.
6 love notes ripped and torn.
7 days a week you'll think of him.
8 sad songs at night before you go to sleep.
9 wishes that never came true.
10 years before he realizes that it has always been you.

Mathematically loving someone is not as easy as simple algebra. You have to love infinitely without limits. But learning to let go someone you love is harder. Because the cure cannot be derived and simply does not exist. It's funny how sometimes you've been doing everything to get out of one place and when you've found the time to leave, it's when you've also found a reason to stay.

Love and friendship met one day. Love asked, "why do you exist?" friendship answered, "to put a smile where you leave tears." then love asked again, "well, if that's what you do, how come there are still many people crying?" friendship said, "it''s my fault. instead of doing my job, i sometimes end up doing yours."

Never say that someone completes you. We have to feel whole even when we are by ourselves, for needing a certain someone is not love but dependency. Wanting a person to become part of your life is the best reason for having them. and you can only want when you know you have enough. so rather than search for someone who will complete you, wait for the person who will complement your completeness.

It's quite ironic that in life, the person that brings out the best in you and the one that makes you strong is actually your weakness.. when something's over, it's over. it can never start again. when it's broken you can never put back the pieces. life is not the way you want it to be. when you that someone's hurting you so much, just stop. we know that it hurts a lot, but you must learn to let go things. don't push yourself too hard. Because we all know, that in every ending, there's such a thing that we call the beginning..

Sometimes, fate has a cruel way of putting things together. maybe it's better if people just give up when there's no point in fighting for something anymore. when the ship has finally sailed, only a fool would go after when it's already miles away. but sometimes, it's a lot better to be a fool to go after what we want and need, rather than to regret everything in the end because we never even tried..